Windy Thing
by Rose the Wary Wolf
Summary: Joan Egbert was not someone to be trifled with. As the self-proclaimed Prankster Queen, she had a bad habit of sticking her fingers into chaos for a laugh. Well, Monkey D. Dragon certainly didn't mind, even if Garp spends his free time cursing her name. Meanwhile, Luffy is a clueless as ever.
1. Chapter 1

**I can't explain my thought process for this one.**

 **I really just can't.**

 **Just…just read it.**

 **I don't own One Piece or Homestuck.**

* * *

From a very young age, Luffy noticed that the wind always answered his call.

If he thought hard enough, something that he avoided doing regularly, he could remember the warm comfort of strong arms holding him tightly as gentle winds blew through his hair. The faded memory would leave Luffy feeling loved and safe, so much so that he went out of his way to get the wind to respond to him.

It quickly became fun to throw himself into danger, knowing that the wind would drag him out before he could be severely harmed. Trees, beasts, people, stairs; nothing stopped the wind.

The wind was a force of nature that could not be controlled.

When Gramps left Luffy alone in the forest surrounding Fusha Village for days, it was the wind that let the five year old survive the harrowing task.

It would lash out at any predators that approached its charge, sending them tumbling down cliffs or shoving them into the waiting ocean.

Luffy watched more than one ambitious beast drown under the angry waters.

Sometimes the wind would knock down fruits that rested too high in the trees, or drop the corpses of small prey for Luffy to bring to Makino for dinner.

Gramps, once, got annoyed, shouting to all that would listen about how the wind was 'spoiling his grandson', that he would never become a 'proper marine with all this mollycoddling'.

The wind responded by lifting Garp up and throwing him over the forest, a large cloud of dust erupting as the marine landed, trees crashing to the ground around him.

The Hero never screamed his complaints to the sky again, his eyes shifting suspiciously to the sides as he muttered, loudly, to himself.

Luffy didn't care that much.

While he had Makino and Mayor and Gramps, there was no one in the small village to watch him at all times. No one but the wind.

Where ever the child went, he knew the wind was by his side, hindered as it was by the houses and trees. The wind never left his side, always tugging absently on his pants, shirt, hair, as if to remind him that he is never alone.

Luffy liked that thought.

He was never, ever, alone.

* * *

When the Red Haired pirates made port at Dawn Island, Luffy felt the wind drop back, observing the crew interacting with its charge.

At first, Luffy was unsure of the pirates who invaded Makino's bar, singing and drinking long after the sun had gone down. That didn't stop him from shouting at the men to get out when he realized Makino was starting to falter, tired after a long day of serving her customers. They were keeping the kind woman up, those bastards!

They didn't notice his shouts until the wind intervened briefly, batting against the captain, splashing his alcohol down his off white shirt.

When the man sputtered, Luffy stomped his foot, his checks puffing out in annoyance. "Get the hell out of here; we're closed!"

The bar was only silent for a moment, surprised pirates locking eyes on the rambunctious child before bursting out in loud guffaws.

Luffy hissed as the laughter got louder and louder, drowning out the whooshing sound of the wind at his back. The sight of the slight bags under Makino's eyes caused his anger to turn to rage.

"I said," Luffy shrieked, using his high pitched, childish voice to his advantage. "We're closed, you damn bastards!"

The wind blasted forward, lifting up the pirates and throwing each of them out of the pub. Luffy ignored the surprised screeches of the rough and tough adventurers, focused as he was on the red haired man the wind was avoiding.

The pirate watched in wonder as his companions were none-too-gently escorted out of the establishment by the _wind._

He chuckled lightly. "Seems we over stayed our welcome," he mused, making note of the boy that started the strange phenomenon. "Shanks, the Captain of this sorry lot," the pirate introduced himself.

Now that Makino had a moment to rest, Luffy calmed, choosing to watch the wind at work. "I'm Luffy!" he chirped. "Are you really pirates?"

"Aye, but, I have to ask…" Shanks nodded to his crew being tossed out of the Party Bar. "How are you doing that, Luffy?"

"Shishishi, I'm not!" the boy denied. Shanks blinked, confused. "The wind is doing it! The wind has always been around, watching over me. Gramps said it's a gift from my Mom, but I've never met her."

Shanks hummed, watching the, apparently, sentient wind do the child's bidding.

It looked…oddly familiar to the pirate.

Familiar…and unsettling.

* * *

The wind was, obviously, suspicious of the newcomers, especially since they were pirates. It knew pirates, and while it understood the sea adventurers, it preferred to have them far away from its charge.

At least until Luffy was old enough, and strong enough, to fight back against any nefarious schemes they might throw at him.

But Luffy, sweet, oblivious, precious Luffy did not fear the pirates.

No, a day after the wind threw the pirates out of the bar, the brat marched right up to them, demanding that they tell him about the sea they loved so much.

The wind could only blame itself for letting those thoughts bubble inside its charge's mind, dreams of freedom and the wind flying wild filling Luffy's nights.

However, the sea was where the Heiress was, the source of the wind's loyalty to its young charge.

The wind did wish for the child to go to the sea, whether as a marine, pirate, or revolutionary. (Though, the wind knew, the Heir had her own preference for his future.)

There, Luffy would meet the Heiress, who had sent the wind to the island over six years ago with a single command.

 _Protect him, the heir to your Heir._

And, of course, the wind obeyed.

* * *

 **What other stories, what are you talking about. It's not like there is anything else I should be working on, psh, nah.**

 **(I couldn't help myself.)**

 **So, the next chapter will explain everything more, this is just introducing my Luffy. (Damn, what is with me and crossovers.)**

 **(I really don't see this story getting _at all_ popular, but I really wanted to write it anyway. So...don't mind my insanity.)**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this little introduction. I plan to update another story later tonight, so there's that to look forward to. The next chapter for this story shouldn't take too long either.**

 **(Note: Characters include a Fem!John/Joan and maybe a MTF!Jade. That's what you have to look forward to. You're welcome.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, that reaction was better than I had expected.**

 **For being such wonderful readers, here's another chapter.**

 **I don't own Homestuck or One Piece. (Or Stolen/Nic Cage)**

* * *

 **(Eight years in the past)**

To start, it was totally not Joan's fault.

In fact, the Heir of Breath felt that Rose deserved all of the blame.

Rose was the one that wanted their new world to be a variation of the mystifying Bermuda Triangle from Earth.

Rose was the one that suggested creating 'Devil Fruit', supernatural fruits that gave their eater superpowers.

And Rose was the one that decided the new gods should not interfere directly with their universe.

Her rules were just begging to be broken by the Heir.

Vriska was definitely not helping with Joan's dwindling restraint.

"Come _on_ , Joan!" she whined from Joan's bed, watching as the Heir tried to entertain herself by organizing her movies for the nth time. "You're bored, I'm bored, let's go have some fun!"

Joan sighed, finally looking up at her moirail. "Vriska, we really shouldn't, Rose said-"

"Since when did you become so _lame_ , Joan? 'Rose said' this and 'Rose said' that. I thought you wanted adventure!" Vriska jumped up, bouncing as she fought off a nonexistent foe with an invisible sword.

Joan ignored the cerulean. "You know what we haven't watched in a while?" she mused, staring down at a DVD case. "Stolen."

"Adventure, Joan!" Vriska argued, still stabbing viciously at her imaginary enemy. Probably imagining it was one of their friends, maybe Kanaya. Joan thought Rose's girlfriend, or matesprit as it were, was a classy lady, perfect for her favorite Flighty Broad. But, her moirail took exception to 'Miss Fussyfang's' insistence on checking up on Vriska every few months, as if Joan were some kind of subpar moirail.

"Nic Cage, Vriska!" Joan countered. Vriska's fighting paused, a frown forming as she turned to the Heir.

"That's dirty," she noted. Her frown quickly morphed into a grin, her fangs gleaming. "I'm so proud of you!"

Joan laughed, tossing the case over for a thorough inspection. "Movie night it is then!"

"Oh no, you can't seduce me with the Cage, Joan. We can't let that Wannabe Highblood stop us! There are pirates. Pirates, Joan! We can't _not_ go," Vriska refuted and crouched down to gently place the case on the bedside table.

"I can't leave Casey alone," the Heir attempted, biting her lip in indecision. According to Vriska, pirates were the coolest thing since Nic Cage. Hell, she was willing to miss the awesome of the actor just for a chance of breaking some rules and meeting a real-life pirate. Still, Rose never did anything without reason. If she thought they shouldn't visit their new world, they should listen to her.

"Then let's take her with us!" Vriska grinned, obviously sensing that she was gaining ground. "I bet she'd _love_ to meet a pirate."

Joan shook her head. "Casey likes wizards and demons. Rose _is_ her favorite aunt."

"Which is complete bullshit! _I'm_ your moirail. She should like _me_ , and _pirates_ , more!" Vriska ranted. "We'll take her with us and she'll learn just how superior pirates are to that hocus pocus nonsense! Everyone knows magic isn't real! If you let her continue with this, she'll turn into the next Eridan. Joan, she's already got the scarf, it's only a matter of time before your precious daughter is spending time with Fish Dick, instead of you. Do you want that, Joan?"

"Eridan's not that bad," Joan muttered.

"Eridan's a piece of shit," Vriska stated matter-of-factly.

The friend-leader squinted at her moirail. "Are the two of you caliginous again? Is this another way for you to antagonize Eridan?"

"The brine sucker _wishes_ I'd take him back. I would be a _far_ better kismesis than _Captor_ ," Vriska crossed her arms, her eyes alight with wicked glee. "Com'on, Joan," she cooed. "Imagine all of the open space, the Breeze wrapping around you as you fly through the air. A spray of sea water splashing your face as you speed by. You don't have enough space to _truly_ fly here, do you, Joan?" the troll coaxed. "Don't think about it so much; just go with your heart. It's what you've always done and it's worked out fine. _Wind doesn't like to be contained, Joan._ "

Joan could hear the Breeze whispering along with Vriska, urging her to listen to the cerulean. Her moirail knows what's best for her, she should _just do it_.

The Heir made a snap decision. She hoped Rose forgave her, eventually.

"Vriska, go get Casey. I'll get everything we might need. Meet back here in one hour," Joan ordered.

"Oh, I love it when you use your leader voice on me," Vriska cackled as she raced out the door.

Joan _really_ hoped she didn't regret this.

* * *

When Vriska arrived back at Joan's room, she found the Heir frantically pacing, slowly wearing a line in the floor.

"It'll be fun, it's like a family vacation – to a forbidden world that we know barely anything about, it's perfectly _fine._ Vriska would never take us somewhere we could be injured, especially not with Casey," Joan muttered, not yet noticing her companions.

Casey shared a look with her mother's moirail. "Glub," she deadpanned.

Vriska rolled her eyes, but placed the salamander on the ground. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trust me, baby girl, this is going to be awesome. You just calm down your lusus and we can go."

Casey huffed out a 'glub', but relented, wobbling over to her mother. She waved a yellow webbed paw as the Heir passed by, patting her pajama pants covered leg.

Startled, Joan stopped, the wind gently tugging at Casey's scarf as the Heir checked for what disturbed her worrying. Seeing that it was her beloved daughter, the human's eyes lit up with glee. "Casey!" she exclaimed, scooping the salamander up and swinging her through the air.

Wide eyed, Casey struggled, glubbing loudly to be put down. She was a _land_ salamander, she liked her feet on the ground, thank you very much.

Giggling, Joan put her down, crouching to happily adjust her cloak and scarf. "Did you hear, Casey? We're going on an adventure with Auntie Vriska! It'll be so much fun!"

"I'm glad you have so much trust in me," Vriska stated, her eyebrow raised in amusement.

Joan laughed nervously, her middle and pointer finger lifted towards Vriska in hopes of pacifying the troll. "Gal pals?"

"Diamond pals," the Thief of Light corrected, completing the diamond with her own two fingers. The moirails smiled softly at each other.

Only to be interrupted by Casey's loud, "Glub!"

"Hehe, right!" Joan shouted, hooking an arm around each of her parnters-in-crime. "We have a world to visit and chaos to wreck. Everyone hold on tight and please keep your arms and legs attached to your bodies at all times! Thank you for riding Air Egbert!"

The moirails' laughter and Casey's panicked 'glubs' echoed through the room as they disappeared in a blue flash.

* * *

"I can't believe you forgot to pack!" Vriska groaned, dismal at her pathetic moirail. Did she need to babysit Joan like a damn wriggler?

"I totally packed!" Joan argued, her checks puffed out stubbornly.

"Joan, my favorite Air-Head, grabbing Fruit Gushers and Zillyhoo is _not packing_!" the troll stated. "We need clothes and actual food! We can't go back to the Veil now, Miss Fussyfang's or your Furry Sister probably already told the Horrorterror Bait that we left!"

"Vriska, it's an adventure! We can find our own food, like Bear Grylls! Plus, my god tier pj's are still perfectly wearable," the Heir countered, triumphantly folding her arms.

Casey sighed, watching her two chaperones banter like children. And _she_ was the 'baby' of their little family. She glubed quietly to herself in dismay. She was promised adventure, magic, and _fun._

She was so disappointed in her self-appointed caretaker.

The yellow salamander glanced around, taking in the scene the Heir dropped the trio in.

It was night, something she was thankful for. After spending her whole life in the cold and muggy LOWAS, she was not looking forward to experiencing the full effect of the sun.

As it was night, Casey couldn't see anyone around, leaving her companions free to bicker without fear of interruption.

She tilted her head to the side, hearing a distant chattering, muffled both by the distance and by waves crashing against creaking wood.

"Glub," Casey tried to warn. Joan reached down and patted her head reassuringly, as if she thought Casey were afraid of the darkness. Her heir and guardian was stupid like that.

As if Casey could ever be afraid. She dabbled in the darkest of arts, raising corpses in hopes of doing her mentor's bidding. She was the Darkest Witch/Wizard that ever existed in the Veil, especially after her mentor choose to turn towards the Light.

Like hell was she afraid of something as plebian as the dark. Or strangers.

"Glub a-glub!" she shouted, waving her arms frantically.

Joan patted her again.

Damn that woman for confiscating her Crook of Frailty. One day, she'll show her. Just wait.

When group of men in uniform finally rounded the corner, Casey folded her arms stubbornly. It wasn't her problem anymore.

"Is everything okay…ladies?" one of them asked, stepping forward. He faltered slightly once he caught sight of who he was talking to.

"Are those horns?" another man muttered to the guy next to him.

He shrugged. "Maybe she's a Fishman."

"Everything's okay, officer!" Joan chirped, grinning like a lunatic. "My girlfriend and I were just arguing. She says I didn't pack enough for a month of travel. But, _I_ think I brought just enough."

Vriska face palmed while the spokesman officer looked around the women uncertainly, not seeing any luggage anywhere.

"Perhaps your…girlfriend is right?" he chanced a look behind him for reassurance.

The Heir crossed her arms with a huff. "Not you too!" she whined. "Casey!" she whirled around to face her daughter. "Who do you think is right?"

Joan swore on her Prankster's Gambit that her precious daughter gave her a deadpan look before pointing at Vriska.

"I feel so betrayed."

"Don't be such a wimp, Joan," Vriska scoffed. She slapped the Heir on her back once before turning her eight pupils on the men in uniform. "Hey, dweebs."

The men in uniform looked around and pointed at themselves in question.

"Yeah, you idiots. Do you know where two-" Casey glubbed loudly. "-fine, _three_ girls can find a ship off this rock?"

"Um," the previous speaker answered eloquently. "I'm sure our Vice-Admiral would be more than happy to ferry two-" Casey glubbed again, her fierce glare staring the man down. He gulped. "I mean, three girls to our next port."

"It might distract his brat too," another man allowed, elbowing his neighbor with a grin.

"Ya hear that, Joan?" Vriska grinned, her teeth glinting threateningly. "It must be our lucky day. A free ride."

Joan perked up. "Thank you so much!" she cheered. "This is going to be awesome, right, Vriska, Casey?"

Casey flailed angrily.

She _hated_ salt water.

* * *

 **And nothing was regretted.**

 **Since this is the first time I'm actually writing the Homestuck _characters_ , it might take a few chapters before I'm happy with their personalities. But, I think it's a good start.**

 **I actually kinda _like_ Eridan, but Vriska wouldn't really care and Joan said her piece on him. **

**(Why do I love Casey so much, I don't understand this. She/He's just adorable. (For the purpose of Joan, Casey will be referred to as a girl unless otherwise stated.))**

 **Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest - It'll be explained more in the next few chapters, but I'm implying that Joan is Luffy's mom. Haha, thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying this story and all the others, as well!**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Next up, Garp!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I have sold my soul to Hussie, and to this story. And nothing is regretted.**

 **I don't own One Piece or Homestuck.**

* * *

Unsurprisingly, when the group finally arrived at the impressive white and blue ship, they were not met with cheer and merriment. Instead, they ended up standing before a red-faced middle-aged man in a large, decorated, white coat.

"Sewell, Yanger, Jetson, Itsu, Munich, I sent you to get more crackers, not pick up women!" the large, muscled man shouted at the group of men that kindly offered the three woman a free ride.

"Sir!" the men said together, saluting. Vriska was too busy observing the ship they would be traveling on to pay attention to the interaction. Joan, however, was slowly clicking the pieces together.

Uniforms, a hierarchy, respect, cleanliness, the funny sailor hats; this wasn't looking very favorable to the chaotic goddess.

"Oh," she realized, blinking.

"Sir," the man that offered the ride to the wannabe-adventurers stepped forward to explain. "When we left to carry out your orders, we came across these, er, three ladies. From what I understand, they were stranded without provisions due to poor planning. We figured we could get them to a more prosperous island, perhaps Sabaody, to get back on their feet."

"We also thought it would be a good way to entertain the brat." Some of the men on board laughed, elbowing each other in the ribs and wiggling their eyebrows meaningfully.

The muscled man was not one of them.

"Vriska," Joan muttered.

"What, Joan," her moirail responded absentmindedly, too busy drooling over the finely crafted ship.

"Don't. Freak. Out." She cautioned her.

"Freak out? What do you mean, 'freak out'?" Vriska demanded, finally turning to the Heir.

" _WHAT KIND OF MARINES ARE YOU_!" The muscled man demanded loudly, bearing down on the group.

"Joan," Vriska asked in a chilly tone. "What are marines?"

Joan chuckled nervously, fidgeting in search of a subject change.

"The people who catch and hang pirates, kinda like that Redglare you told me about-oh look, a teenager, Casey and I will just go and say hi, bye!" Joan grabbed her darling daughter's webbed head, dragged her while escaping Vriska's ensuing rage.

"Glub?" Casey frowned in question.

Joan, being the wonderful mother that she was, knew exactly what her adorable daughter was saying. "Yeah, I probably should. I mean, gal pals don't let gal pals go on murderous rampages. On the other hand…those marines won't know what hit them!" she giggled, feeling her Prankster's Gambit increase. Oh, their faces when Vriska whipped out her Fluorite Octet were going to be to die for.

Casey sighed. She just wanted something to eat, not have her warden explain the complexities of her relationships. Humanoids were weird.

"Are you taking back your men's offer of safe passage?" Vriska screeched, her pitch just barely louder than the Marine Vice Admiral's.

"We aren't a tour ship!" the man argued.

Joan decided to ignore the political mumbo jumbo happening behind her. Vriska's got that. And if she didn't, Joan could always just zap them somewhere else. Maybe they could go to that Sabondy place that marine mentioned.

While her moirail covered that, Joan elected herself to coerce the grumpy looking teenager observing the bickering into a friendly conversation. He reminded the Heir of a more human looking Karkat, all frowny and disgruntled. Even his spikey hair matched Joan's shouty friend!

"Hi, I'm Joan, that's my girlfriend Vriska, and this is my beloved daughter Casey," Joan greeted, planting herself in front of the teenager, blocking his view.

She was the Queen of Friendship, it was her. She had so much experience with the grumpy, pissy, and plain anti-social inhabitants of the Veil, there was no way this kid could ignore her.

Not that he tried to, surprisingly.

"It is nice to meet you, Ms. Joan, Miss Casey," the grumpy teen bowed politely, a frown still firm on his face. "My name is Monkey D. Dragon, currently the victim of a kidnapping."

Joan gasped. "They kidnaped you? I thought the marines existed to protect the civilians?"

"They do," the teenager admitted. "That man-" he nodded to the Vice-Admiral, who was nose to nose with Vriska, shouting about pride, civilians, and pirate sympathizers. Joan hid a wince. It looked like their time on the Marine ship was almost up. "Monkey D. Garp, is my father."

Father? Joan looked between the two, feeling Terezi's infamous question-mark face form on her face. Kidnaped? Victim?

Joan felt a headache coming on.

"You were kidnapped…by your father?" the Heir tried. Dragon chuckled lightly, catching onto her confusion.

"He is taking me to the Marine Headquarters to become a marine. That's why Munich offered to ferry your family to Sabaody," he informed her.

"And you don't want to be a marine?" Joan mused, narrowing her eyes at the shouting Vice Admiral.

"No, but I don't want to be a pirate, or even a normal civilian," he stated, his eyes lighting up. "I want to change this infected world. Marines bow to the whims of the Celestial Dragons, leaving the common people to fend for themselves. Too many innocents are enslaved by the so-called Gods of this world. It's disgusting. I refuse to become an enabler of such a system," he snarled, a deep glare furrowing his grumpy face.

Joan was astonished. With how long she had been in the Veil, there was no way she hadn't heard about Karkat's ancestor, The Signless, The Sufferer. A troll that tried to change his violent world while trying to hide the mutant blood he was born with.

She wondered if this was how the Revolutionary started. With a hatred of the world, but no idea how to fix it. Just waiting for that final push to get the ball rolling.

The Heir grinned manically. She was going to be that catalyst he was waiting for. It was her.

"Do you understand, Ms. Joan?" Dragon asked, his bright gaze trained on her desperately. "I can't let my fellow humans suffer while I benefit from their pain. I can't _live_ with myself if I join such a society that tramples over the weak on their way to the top."

"Yeah," she muttered. "Yeah, I understand." She canted her head, checking briefly on Vriska's argument. "Hey, Dragon," she began.

"Yes, Ms. Joan?" Vriska was glowing, her dice cupped ready in her hands.

"I have an idea on how you can help people," Joan said slowly. Casey took notice of the conversation, glubbing in confusion.

Anarchy? The disestablishment of a centuries old government? Potential sacrifices to the ancient entangled ones? Oh, it must be the salamander's birthday!

Casey knew there was a reason she stuck around the Heir. The sheer amount of chaos that surrounded the mischievous goddess tempted her like no other.

"Ms. Joan?" Dragon repeated, bewildered at the excitable girl's grin.

"Vriska!" Joan called.

Immediately, her moirail twirled out of her argument, a matching grin fixated on her face.

" _Joan_ ," she whined. "I was having _fun_!" the cerulean exclaimed.

"Fun?" Garp boomed. "You little pirate loving brat, I'll show you _fun!"_ The Vice Admiral threw a black-encased fist at the troll's head, which was dodged with a laugh. The other marines tittered in the background, realizing that the three girls were not innocent civilians but not wanting to risk their commander and his son attempting to attack the strangers.

"What's wrong, Joan?" Vriska demanded while dodged the various punches. "Did the boy hurt your _wimpy_ human sensibilities? Does Casey need a diaper change? Is the Wannabe calling us back to the Land of Bore and Snore?" She cackled, letting go of her dice when she weaved under Garp's overextended arm.

The dice bounced once, twice, thrice; the entire ship held its breath, not knowing what they were anticipating. Each die landed with eight dots facing upwards.

Vriska grinned as the dice glowed blue, her form being enveloped in the color.

Joan sighed at her moirail's dramatics. Dragon, Garp, and the marines gaped when the gray girl reappeared dressed as a traditional pirate. Her blue and black captain's coat fluttered as Joan blew an obliging breeze at the troll.

"Come at me," Vriska taunted.

"Pirate!" the marines screeched, baring their arms defiantly.

Vriska blinked. "You're only just realizing? I'm not surprised pirates are kicking your ass, not that I doubted it for a second. You're lame _and_ stupid."

Joan obviously needed to work on Vriska's tact as her words only served to infuriate the already inflamed marines.

Swords and fists and bullets were suddenly flying. Joan sighed as she decaptchalogued Casey's creepy Crook **,** handing it over to her delighted daughter.

She was not pleased with the dark look the salamander bestowed upon her adversaries as she raised her Crook threateningly.

Deciding to let her more bloodthirsty companions battle it out, Joan shifted into a slightly more intangible form in case of stray bullets and turned back to her new favorite Revolutionary-To-Be.

"Are they always like this, Ms. Joan?" Dragon asked with a slight smile before she could offer him her _most sincere_ apology.

"For Vriska? Always. For Casey? Ever since she started hanging out with her Auntie Rose. I keep trying to break them of it, but I can't deny them anything. It's the eyes, I swear," she told him, crossing her arms with a shrug.

"Sounds like an interesting family," he noted, turning to watch Casey bash in the marines' knees as Vriska fought off a dozen more.

"The best," Joan agreed. "I couldn't ask for a better family."

Joan pushed way the thought of a white fedora and freshly baked cakes. She missed her father, but she wasn't alone. She had Nannasprite and Jane and Jade and Casey and Vriska and everyone else. They all missed someone.

"That reminds me," she realized. She took a deep breath, the wind swirling around her mouth in preparation. "Vriska!" she boomed, the wind throwing her voice all over the ship.

The fighters froze in surprise, the troll shifting to meet her diamond's stern frown.

"I…" she started, "have a plan."

Vriska lit up like a sun, her transformation bleeding away with a snap of her wrist, her dice cradled once again in the curve of her palm.

"Why didn't you just say so, Heir Head?" she laughed, hopping away from her opponents and towards her moirail's psychotic little daughter. Scooping up the protesting salamander, she raced to the Heir and her companion, gracefully dodging the still attacking marines along the way. "Your plans are always just so much _fun!"_

"Then hold on tight!" Joan told her when the troll was close enough.

Reaching out with both hands, Joan grabbed her three partners-in-crime. Throwing one last taunting grin at the approaching marines, they disappeared in a light blue flash.

* * *

 **And the marines ended up dog piling an empty spot and the friendly group were later tied to the ship's mast for getting Garp's TOTALLY-A-MARINE son kidnapped by obvious pirates.**

 **Also known as the chapter where Joan meets Dragon and proceeds to kidnap him. Because reasons.**

 **I think Casey is officially my favorite character. This little girl is capable of murder~**

 **(Now that I think about it, I don't think there's a single Homestuck character I absolutely hate. And that's saying something.)**

 **Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest - Haha, yup! A lot of wild life are going to be attributed to Alternia. Our favorite friend-leaders preferred to let their psychotic friends create the One Piece World. They had their hands full just keeping everyone alive as it was. Yeah, Casey and Luffy are gonna be siblings. I can't wait to write their first meeting, it's going to be beautiful.**

 **I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but it does what it needs to.**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have returned with another chapter. Behold, we're starting to get places.**

 **This chapter and the next handful are just going to be about Joan and Dragon creating the Revolutionary army and slowly 'falling in love'. Cause I need more stories about Dragon. It might take a while, but I'll get back to Luffy, no need to worry.**

 **Anyway, I don't own One Piece or Homestuck**

* * *

"What," Dragon deadpanned when the quartet reappeared in the middle of Saboady Park in a flash of blue.

" _This_ is Sabaody?" Joan asked, overjoyed. She twirled around, staring at the rides in awe. "This looks amazing!"

She was completely oblivious to the terrified and greedy looks of the people surrounding them, once they got over the surprise of three humanoids and a salamander appearing out of nowhere.

Vriska, of course, did not miss the hungry eyes following them. She strutted forward arrogantly, displaying her horns and grey skin for all to see as she took in the Park.

"It looks so _lame_ , Joan," she whined. "I thought you said you had a plan." She crossed her arms, her dice flashing between her fingers threateningly.

"What," Dragon repeated, turning to Casey for answers. "Did she eat a Devil Fruit?"

The salamander gave a monotone, 'Glub', already bored with the Park. Where were the screams of terror? The unbridled chaos? The Heir was really disappointing her.

"Vriska!" Joan exclaimed. "Don't tell me you've never been to an amusement park before?" She flapped her hands in dismay. Everyone should get the chance to experience an amusement park!

Her moirail scoffed. "It even _sounds_ lame."

"That's it!" Joan decided. "We have to go on a ride, at least one."

"The Ferris Wheel is the most popular ride," Dragon cut in. "That might be a good place to start."

Joan grinned at the grumpy teenager, happy that he was interacting with his newest kidnappers and enjoying himself. Dragon smiled softly back at the Heir.

Inhuman eyes narrowed in thought.

"Then, to the Ferris Wheel we go!" the Heir cheered, grabbing Casey and Vriska's arm and dragging them to the giant wheel that loomed over the rest of the Park's rides.

Dragon followed at a more sedate pace.

* * *

"That was _lame-y lame_ ," Vriska remarked petulantly. She kicked at a rock as she walked, her eyes focused on the skipping stone. Her moirail trailed beside her, her face down as she watched the ground.

"Yeah," Joan sighed sadly. She remembered the Ferris Wheel being so much more exciting when her dad took her. It seemed she was desensitized to heights after everything she went through during Sburb. "Flying is so much more fun."

"Flying?" Dragon asked Casey as the duo lagged behind.

The salamander responded by blowing a bubble in his face, laughing to herself when it popped and spittle sprayed in his face.

Dragon merely wiped his face clean and patted Casey's head gently.

She froze, and stared at the human male for a moment. Yes, she liked this one. More than the blond siblings and the grumpy troll that were always flustered around her caretaker. This one has an ambition, an ambition that the salamander would be more than happy to assist with.

Casey started to plot.

"Are there any other fun places to go, Dragon?" Joan asked, turning to the teenager, ignoring her moirail's annoyed mutters.

Dragon thought back for a moment, trying to remember everything he knew of Saboady. When his father had taken him to the Archipelago three years ago, they had only gone to the Marine Headquarters and the Park.

"There's a shopping area somewhere nearby," he tried as they marched out of the Park, leaving themselves open to the trash of humanity.

" _Lame_ ," Vriska dragged out. Joan nodded in agreement, stopping so that she could face Dragon.

"Something _fun_ , Dragon," she repeated. The Heir hummed in thought for a moment. "Like, a fighting arena or a criminal hideout."

Dragon didn't even blink for a moment. They wanted him to take three ladies to such violent places? It wasn't that Dragon thought women were _weak_ , no, quite to opposite. He just acknowledged that women had different strengths compared to men.

And Ms. Joan wanted to completely destroy the stereotype years of unofficial marine training had taught him.

"There's…the unlawful areas," he hesitated. "With slave markets and pirate bars."

"Slave markets," Joan parroted with a significant look at her gal pal.

"Yeah, that'll work," Vriska agreed, a sharp smile on her face. She elegantly tossed her dice, letting the fluorite shine in the sunlight. Casey glubbed in excitement.

"That reminds me," the Heir stated, her own predator grin spreading. "I haven't told you my plan yet, have I?" she asked rhetorically. "Vriska, you're going to love this."

Dragon felt his own excitement bubble in his stomach. There was something about this girl; she was going to change _everything_ , he just knew it.

"You should create a third side," she said. "You should become a Revolutionary, who fights for the weak and helpless, kinda like the Sufferer and the Summoner."

Vriska was practically vibrated with malicious glee. "Oh, you know exactly what to say, Joan," she cooed. "How can I refuse you?"

"What do you say, Dragon?" Joan asked, as Vriska and Casey cackled in the background. "A slave market would be the perfect place to start getting your message out."

Dragon looked over the schemers.

Joan was grinning, her buckteeth on full display as her deep blue eyes sparkled. She seemed ecstatic at the idea of getting in a fight and saving random strangers from the horrors of slavery. She didn't look strong, but if that flashing ability was a Devil Fruit, then she was definitely more than she seemed.

But, she was right. He refused to be a Marine. He never wanted to be a pirate. And the civilian life wasn't right for him. Why not just make another side, a side that fought _solely_ for the people, instead of being caught between morality and orders?

His responding smile was a threatening as each of his companions. "What are we waiting for?"

"Oh, hell yes!" Joan cheered, throwing herself into the air and floating there as she zoomed towards the teen. "This is going to awesome! Those slavers won't know what hit them, I can't wait."

She zipped ahead, chattering about how much fun they were going to have.

"What," Dragon deadpanned as he observed the flying girl.

"Come on, let's go before Joan has all the fun without us," Vriska stated as she stalked over to the human.

They were silent for a moment as Joan swooped down, dragging a struggling Casey into the air with her.

"If you hurt her, I'll kill you," Vriska warned him nonchalantly.

Dragon twitched in surprise. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, tearing his eyes away from Joan to look at the humanoid she introduced as her girlfriend.

"Don't pull that crap with me," Vriska growled. "Joan has been hurt enough. If you hurt her, I reserve the right to tear off your weird human-bulge before throwing you to the rest of her family. I doubt her Ancestor and Furry Sister will be so kind. And let's not even get started on the Horrorterror Bait and her Ticking Timebomb brother."

"I thought…the two of you…" Dragon started. Vriska laughed loudly, catching Joan's attention. The troll waved off her curious moirail, gasping for breath. The Heir canted her head for a moment but turned back to Casey soon enough, engrossed in her daughter's squirming.

"You thought, Joan and I? Oh, it hurts. It hurts," she snickered. It took Vriska a few seconds to gather herself. In the meantime, Dragon waited patiently, watching her try to speak coherently only to collapse back into laughter again and again.

He never felt more stupid in his life.

"I haven't laughed that much since Pupa tried to talk back to me, oh, this is precious," Vriska chortled. She stood up straight, wiping away watery blue tears. "No, we're moirails. I pity the fuck out of Joan, but I'm definitely not _red_ for her."

Dragon still had no idea what was going on. Red? Moirails? What were these girls?

"I don't understand," he informed her. Vriska chuckled, clapping the human on the shoulder forcibly. Dragon had no doubt it would bruise later.

"You don't need to understand," she stated. "You just need to know that hurting Joan is as good as a death sentence, if not worse. Being the pale slut she is, she has more than enough people willing to torture those stupid enough to harm her."

Having said her piece, Vriska sauntered off after her excited moirail, leaving Dragon to stare after her, bewildered.

With a sigh, he followed, shaking his head in exasperation.

* * *

"We should burn it down," Vriska stated when they finally hunted down a slave house. The large building was overgrown, grass and vines making it look abandoned.

The loud cheers and flashing lights coming from the inside ruined the image.

"Vriska, no," Joan frowned. "There are people in there, buyers and slaves. Murder is not the answer."

The troll huffed. "It would be so much _better_ if we just burned it down. A warning to the rest of the scum!" she grinned. "Slaves are a big no-no."

"Vriska," Joan warned, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Don't make me whip out my Pimp Hand."

"Don't call it that," Vriska hissed, her checks flaring a deep blue. Dragon watched their interaction, interested in seeing exactly what the relationship between the two was.

"Don't think I won't do it," Joan continued, ignoring the troll's embarrassment. Vriska tsked, but pulled back slightly, consenting to her moirail, for the moment. "Now," Joan said. "I think we should run in and start beating people up."

"That idea isn't any better than mine," Vriska grumbled. Joan stuck out her tongue defiantly.

"Both ideas are horrible," Dragon sighed as Casey nodded sagely from his side. "We have no idea if the Tenryuubito are inside and the slaves' colars are rigged to explode if someone tries to remove them."

The moirails exchanged a disgusted look.

"What a waste of slaves," Vriska muttered, huffing. "Now, who are these Tentyubite bastards?"

"The Tenryuubito are believed to be the descendants of the 'Creators of this World' or, at least, those that formed this world's government. They control the marines and are above the law, in all of the worst ways. They subjugate their subjects, killing off hundreds and enslaving thousands. They are no better than the pirates that pillage villages," Dragon explained.

"And…what's so bad about a Tenryuubito being here?" Joan wondered, her fists clenched white at her sides. Vriska noticed with concern but knew that a good fight was all the other girl needed. Then she would fall out of her 'friend-leader' persona and back to the girl she was so achingly pale for.

"If anything happens to a Tenryuubito, they have the power to summon an admiral and a warship to deal with the offender. Usually with death, though slavery is common too," the teen stated.

Joan sighed, thinking over this new information. If this was happening in the world they created, if hundreds died and countless enslaved, then why had Rose banned them from interfering? Had her Seer powers advised her against helping?

The Heir shook off her thoughts. She was smart, she knew this. But, her strength lied in her ability to befriend practically anyone and her fighting prowess. She left the heavy thinking to Rose, who delighted in it.

"It doesn't matter," Joan argued, steeling herself for whatever came from her decision. "We are going to save those people, who are terrified and begging for someone to help them. Let them send their ships and their admirals. We'll just break them. If you want to succeed, Dragon, you can't let them know their threats worry you. We are stronger than whatever they can throw at us, and they need to know that, they need to fear that," she said. She held out her hand and decaptchalogued her hammer in a flash of white light. Her arm didn't waver when the heavy weapon landed, her fingers curling around the familiar handle. "Let's go kick some scum ass," she grinned, leaning Zillyhoo against her shoulder casually.

"There's my fearless leader," Vriska cackled, tossing her hair over her shoulder confidently. "I would have gone with or without you losers, anyway."

Dragon chuckled lowly, feeling a boost of confidence at the young woman's speech. Truly, she was something else. "You have me convinced, Ms. Joan."

Casey glubbed, waving her Crook through the air in malicious glee.

They marched as one to the Slave Auction, ready to show the world another option.

Now, they just had to wait for the world's response.

* * *

 **Is it bad that I love the trolls' habits of giving others nicknames? It's** _ **fun**_ **, sue me!**

 **To me, John, in canon, is the friend-leader because he's good at bringing people together and befriending people. You can't tell me that doesn't sound like a 'pale slut'.** _ **PaleSlut!John**_ **is a favorite of mine. Joan knows that she walks a thin line, but Vriska knows that, as a human, Joan is used to being pale with whoever needs it. It sometimes confuses the other trolls, though. Joan and Vriska like to make it jokes about it – i.e. Pimp Hand and Pale Slut. However, I am** _ **not**_ **saying that Joan, or even John, is perfect and everyone loves her. She'll still have a habit of putting her foot in her mouth.**

 **Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest (1) – Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! Haha, you're going to make me blush! Luffy will totally love Casey. And Casey will love the sheer chaos that Luffy causes. Psh, she'd be ecstatic with Thriller Bark until she realized the blasphemy of how it occurred. Then she would definitely unleash her own zombies.**

 **Guest (2) - Hello! Thank for your concern, however those were not errors! This is an always-a-girl!John story. It was nice of you to try to help me with any mistakes I might have made, though!**

 **Guest (3) - Wonder how he'll react when he finds out about that! :3 Haha, yeah, they'll find out eventually. Casey is going to have herself some fun in the One Piece universe, after all. She'll need minions for her plans of domination.**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Considering how fast I usually update this story, this took a while. Oh, well.**

 **I don't own One Piece or Homestuck.**

* * *

The Auction was going smoothly.

Not a single slave-to-be had gotten any _ridiculous_ ideas into their heads and were behaving appropriately. Not a single fight started between the buyers over the more desirable merchandise. And not a single Tenryuubito had shown up.

The announcer, Jilly Jewel, couldn't be happier.

"One million belli for the dancer, Kani! From number 82, King Heracles! Going once!" Jilly boomed, his greedy eyes jumping over the dismayed potential buyers as they backed down. "Going twice!" he raised his gavel warningly.

He swung the gavel enthusiastically, hitting the wood three times in closing, a greedy smile already spreading across his make-uped face.

On the third hit, the entrance to the Auction exploded, sending debris flying everywhere, shaking the entire foundation of the building.

"What!" Jilly exclaimed, his jaw dropping as he stared, aghast, at the destroyed doorway. Through the dust, he could just barely make out four forms as they approached, three tall adults and one pudgy child.

The patrons screamed, racing forward to crowd around the stage, pushing and shoving as they tried to get away from the newcomers. Jilly crouched behind his podium, peaking out fearfully to watch the pandemonium as the rich and wealthy trampled over each other to survive.

Not even the deployment of the guards calmed the upper class citizens as they continued to flail around in fear.

When the dust started to settle and the four figures finally stepped into the light, Jilly, quivering, pulled his microphone to his mouth in an attempt to salvage his once perfect day.

"Wh-who are you?" he squeaked, his wide eyes just barely visible around the corner of his podium. The four paused, and shared a look. One, a woman with a heavy looking hammer resting on her shoulder, stepped forward.

"'I saw you and you saw me, so don't pretend like you don't know who I am, girly man,'" she stated with a wild grin.

 _What._

* * *

"Oh my gog," Vriska hissed, face palming as everyone they came to beat up stared at Joan in bewilderment. "I'm going to kill her for this."

"I don't understand," Dragon informed her as Casey repeatedly smacked her head with her Crook. Why did her warden have to be an idiot? Why? What did she do to offend the entangled ones so?

"Huh, you don't understand a lot, do you, Dragon-human?" Vriska snarked, stalking ahead to join her insane moirail. If it was a Nic Cage fight Joan wanted, a Nic Cage fight she would get. There was no way Vriska was going to lose.

"Apparently," he agreed, crossing his arms as the girls shared a predatory grin. "So, what do you say?" he asked Casey, noticing that she had decided to hang back for the moment. "Want to go kick some butt?"

The glub Casey gave him sounded suspiciously like 'Hell yes' to the Revolutionary-to-be.

Vriska made the first move, tossing her dice towards the cowering buyers. "I want to take his face…off. Eyes. Noses. Skin. Teeth. It's coming off," she announced, tossing her dice. They spun and fell, clicking against the ground as the troll waited in anticipation, ignoring the approaching guards.

Eight-Five-Eight-Seven-Seven-Two-Seven-One (8-5-8-7-7-2-7-1). _**Sinkhole**_.

Vriska cackled as she snatched up her dice and raced towards the now floating Joan, who decided smashing up the stage was her best plan of action, shouting Nic Cage quotes as the wealthy scrambled out of her way like headless chickens.

Dragon, meanwhile, was smacking around guards, knocking them aside with his hands and feet as he corralled the slaves into a safe corner. He didn't think Vriska would notice the difference between enemy and victim in the middle of a fight. For that matter, he didn't think Casey would either. The Salamander was gleefully smacking the downed soldiers with her Crook, even 'accidently' hitting her adopted mother a couple of times in the heat of the moment.

The hole started small, barely a trickle of earth falling down as the guards rushed after the fleeing Vriska. The moment they stepped over the space where the dice once sat, there was a loud crack, like ice shattering beneath clumsy feet.

Joan snapped around, noticing the frozen crowd that were staring at the ground in horror and Vriska's delighted approach.

"Watch your feet!" Vriska called, breaking her Nic Cage fight for a moment. She leapt, flying into Joan's ready arms, her hands clawing at Joan's blue Godtier PJ's.

Of course, Dragon, Casey, and the slaves-to-be couldn't fly and fell after the human filth as the hole got bigger, swallowing up the entire building.

"Dammit Vriska!" Joan screeched, dropping the laughing troll and flying into the hole to rescue the, unfortunately, flightless beings. "Catch them. Catch them, catch them, catch them," she muttered as she dodged debris, calling upon her control over the wind to make sure her daughter, new friend, and damsels/dude-sels in distress survive.

And the wind never failed her.

A giggle escaped her when the dust finally settled, the attack having run its course and she could see the wind's work in action.

The large group was encased in an swirling orb of air that kept them afloat. Some of the slave were screaming, hugging each other in fear. Casey was flailing around, her Crook knocking against heads as she tried to find solid ground to plant her feet.

Dragon's deadpan expression was what had Joan rolling through the air, clutching her stomach, as she practically busted a gut laughing.

The teenager blushed lightly, looking away from the strange woman, who could teleport and fly and, apparently, control the wind. She also happened to have a beautiful smile.

Dragon lightly gripped his heart in confusion, feeling a bizarre squeeze to the delicate organ at Joan's happiness.

"Hey, how's it hanging?" Joan chuckled, zooming forward to see the disgruntled faces closer. She chose to stay upside down, finding amusement in how the slaves stared.

"I think Casey would appreciate it if we were put down," Dragon stated, ignoring the small smile blooming on his face at the bright girl's cheerful personality.

Joan blinked, distracted by his smile before turning to Casey just in time to avoid the Salamander's Crook to the head. She automatically grabbed the thrown weapon before it could fall into the chasm below and into the groaning pile of royals.

Casey appreciated the action. She didn't want those stupid heathens dirtying her Crook with their ignorance. They might have done something _ridiculous_ , like burn it.

May the entangled ones curse them all.

"You almost dropped your creepy stick, Casey," Joan gently reprimanded, pushing the Crook back into the wind sphere. "You need to be more careful!"

Casey retrieved her Crook and glubbed once. The chaotic goddess was always so useful.

Joan smiled and flew back to where she dropped Vriska, waving the sphere along. Some slaves whimpered, terrified of the unworldly woman that held their lives in her calloused hands.

"You do realize she meant to hurt you, right?" Dragon asked. Joan glanced back, her innocent blink of confusion making an incredulous sweat drop slide down the side of Dragon's head.

"Casey would never hurt her mother!" Joan was horrified, as if the mere thought was blasphemous. "Casey's a good girl!"

Dragon took back every good thing he ever thought of this woman. She was an idiot. A pretty, dangerous, kind idiot, but an idiot all the same.

"You love Mommy, right Casey?" The Heir turned to her daughter for support, expecting an excited glub or a firm nod from her faithful daughter.

Instead, she got another Crook to the head.

"See!" she argued, rubbing her head with one hand as the other shot out to catch Casey's precious creepy stick. "Casey loves me!"

"Oh, the Sisters above," Dragon sighed, rubbing his temples with a slight smirk.

Joan chose to give Casey her Crook back again, reaching into the wind to pat her daughter's head twice. The slaves started to calm and mutter between themselves at the humorous display, wondering who these newcomers were and what was going to happen to them.

Before Dragon could start his spiel, he heard shouting, Vriska's shouting, coming from below them.

"Oi, Heir Head, down here!" he looked down, catching sight of the strange grey skinned girl standing on top of the ruined remains of the auction house.

Joan immediately jetted towards her moirail, the wind sphere following at a more sedate pace.

"You need to be more careful with your Fluorite Octet," Joan was lecturing, wrapped up in her girlfriend's long arms. "If I wasn't here, everyone could have been hurt!"

Vriska, of course, didn't point out that if Joan hadn't been there then there was no way the troll would have been within a universe of Saboady.

"My bad," Vriska waved off, content in soaking up her moirail's attention. At least, until she noticed Dragon and the slaves staring. The troll _flew_ from the mutual pale hug, cuddling with Joan one moment and standing feet away from human that next.

Joan only giggled at her shy girlfriend.

At the Heir's absentminded hand wave, the sphere carefully settled itself on the ground in front of the duo before slowly dissipating.

Joan tried not to be offended when many of the slaves started kissing the ground in relief. They just didn't understand the joys of flying.

Maybe she'll take Dragon on the wind with her one day.

While the slaves gathered their bearings, Joan turned to Vriska. "Did you find any keys for those…collars?"

Vriska scoffed, crossing her arms defensively. "Why would I have gone looking for something like that?"

"Because you like shiny things and I left you alone for over five minutes," Joan stated. Vriska hesitated, tempted to start a playful argument.

Even if it was true.

She sighed, but reached into her pocket and pulled out a shiny, bejeweled key ring. "This bastard had good taste," Vriska said, tossing the keys to the blue eyed friend-leader.

"Here you go!" Joan chirped, chucking the keys at Dragon, who snatched it out of the air.

"Thank you, Ms. Joan," Dragon bowed his head before turning to the staring slaves. "If you would get in a line, one at a time…" Dragon started, shaking the keys meaningfully.

The slaves didn't even waste time hesitating, rushing to surround Dragon in a desperate frenzy. Joan quickly put a stop to the nonsense when she saw a child trip and nearly get trampled.

"Hey!" she bellowed, slamming Zillyhoo down and loudly smashing the surrounding rubble to splinters. They froze, some going opossum-still in their fear. "Calm down," she soothed. "Dragon's going to get to all of you, you just need to be patient."

"But – the marines," a young man tried to explain. He was fidgeting, his eyes jumping around the demolished building, flickering more often than not towards the leftover hole where the enraged and fearful shouts of the wealthy could be heard.

"Nope," Joan's lips popped, a mischievous grin stretching across her face. "Vriska and I'll beat up anyone that comes a knocking, especially your stinking marines." She stuck her tongue out playfully. "Now, just hold onto the calamities that are your mammaries and let Dragon do his thing."

Vriska snorted but nodded in agreement. "Like hell is anyone getting past us, so sit down and act like good little victims and tremble in awe."

"Why don't the two of you make sure there aren't any marines nearby?" Dragon suggested, immediately noticing how their rescued victims did not look at all reassured. "Casey and I will stay here. If you can, find us a ship."

The moirails exchanged a look before shrugged in agreement. "Watch over Dragon," Joan ordered Casey, who waved her Crook in understanding, already eyeing the younger cowering humans. She did need some disciples of her own…more students would definitely please the entangled ones.

"And Dragon?" the Heir continued. Dragon hummed, not looking up from where he was carefully removing a middle-aged woman's collar. "Talk to them. I'm sure they'd love to hear everything you'd have to say. Tell them...what you told me." Joan spun around to face her gal pal, missing Dragon's surprised look that quickly morphed into a teeth-baring grin.

"Yes, Ma'am," Dragon replied as the two girls picked their way across the debris to tumble out of the demolished entrance.

"You can wait around for the _lame_ marines," Vriska yawned, resting one hand on her hip as she surveyed the empty grove. "I'll go _acquire_ a ship."

Joan sighed, rolling her eyes at her diamond partner's kleptomaniac tendencies. "See if you can grab a marine ship," she bargained.

"You read my mind, Joan," the cerulean purred, leaning down slightly to press a gentle kiss against the Heir's lips. "Meet me at Grove 27!" she shouted as she raced off, leaving Joan blinking after her.

"Thief of Light my butt," the Heir muttered. "More like Thief of Kisses. I'll get you one of these days – I swear on Zillyhoo's pink smiley face."

With a small smile, Joan stood still, waiting for either Dragon to finish preaching or for her punching bags to show up.

The Auction House wasn't even good enough to be considered a warm-up.

* * *

 **So, I read a certain Homestuck fanfic on AO3 and I fell in love with their mythos/religion. I was, originally, going to do the ever wonderful 'Oh, Oda above' type line for Dragon. But, I remembered that story and I couldn't help the shenanigans of Joan finding out about the Sisters, their Knight, and the Consorts.** _ **Cause it'll be funny.**_ **(The Hemostuck series by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite, if anyone was curious.)**

 **Am I the only one that thinks Vriska and John/Joan would shout a bunch of Nic Cage quotes if they ever fought side by side? Cause, it would be too damn adorable. You can't tell me it wouldn't be.**

 **I couldn't stop the Hellsing Ultimate Abridged quote. It called to me. I'm not sorry at all.**

 **Have I gushed about Casey before? I don't think I have. Here, have more of me gushing rainbows over Casey and how adora-bubble she is. Adora-bloodthristy. Adora-bold. Adora-brilliant. (Someone take this keyboard away from me, I can't stop)**

 **How do you flirt/set up a relationship, I don't understand. It's a lot harder than I was expecting, damn. I'll try it again next chapter.**

 **Casey is really the only part of this chapter I liked. But, I needed it done for next chapter.**

 **Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest - Now, he just has to develop an actual relationship with Joan and he's golden! Haha, I'm glad! I'm excited to characterize Dragon. He's such an interesting character.**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I find them so adorable, that Imma see how long I can drag out Joan and Dragon's interactions before I go back to Luffy.**

 **I don't own Homestuck or One Piece.**

* * *

Joan hummed, swinging her legs as she stared up at the ceiling of her cabin. Dragon, being a gentleman in ways that Joan was not used to after having spent Rose-knows-how-long in the Veil with her friends, had given the three girls the captain's cabin and proceeded to squirrel himself away with the rest of the men.

And when Joan tried to worm her way into the women's cabin, she was sweetly guided back with mutters about orders.

So, they were left to their own devices in their cabin as the newy-formed Revolutionaries crafted plan after plan. And, even after countless fights with pissy marines, Joan still has no idea what those plans are.

Originally, the plan was to sail the rescued slaves back to their homes and return them to their families. That was scrapped when the majority announced that they wanted to stay, having become enamored with Dragon's ideals.

Of course, Joan couldn't be prouder of the budding Revolutionary.

But now, a month after their first act of 'terrorism', the crew was safely sailing around Paradise, following an eternal pose they found on the formerly marine ship that Vriska had acquired for their nefarious purposes.

And Joan really liked their new ship, _The Glub_.

She could understand why her gal pal was in love with the ocean and sailing, aspiring to a pirate like her famous ancestor. When standing on the bow, the Heir delighted in the dances of the wind and the rocking of the ocean. She often gave into her urge to jump off the ship and fly by, dipping her fingers into the sea. Her joyful laughter was quickly becoming a staple around the ship.

Joan hummed again, running her fingers through Vriska's wiry hair as her moirail napped on her lap. Without her recuperacoon, the troll only found the solus of sleep beside her diamond, who was always more than happy to cuddle with the cerulean. They had even managed to drag Casey into their naps occasionally, when the salamander wasn't busy lecturing the younger recruits.

Joan just knew they were talking about something adorable, like bunnies.

"What are you thinking about?" Joan asked when she chanced a look downwards only to see her moirail staring back up at her in thought.

"How do you feel about Dragon?" Vriska wondered, pressing her skull into Joan's thighs, silently urging her fingers forward.

"Well, he's fun," Joan started, obligingly tracing Vriska's features with her stubby nails, pausing to giggle when the troll warbled in response. "I can't wait to see what he'll do now that he has his own followers. Is this what it felt like when you were guiding me?"

Vriska whirred, her vibrant yellow eyes sliding shut in contentment. "You were like a pitiful little meowbeast, back then. I saw so much potential that your species would have let deteriorate under their illusions of peace. I wanted to help you grow, be a mentor. Of course, it became more than that. You were…you cared about me, when so few did. You listened and talked instead of immediately demonizing me. You, a fleshy little meatbag with overly complicated definitions of morals, pitied me," Vriska reached up blinding, finding Joan's face easily. She caressed her diamond's cheek lovingly. "I want you to be happy and strong. You will always find safety in my arms. You are mine and I am yours. So, no, your feelings towards Dragon are probably not pale, even if you tend to radiate diamonds like a treasure chest."

"You're going to make me blush," Joan mumbled, twisting her head to lay a soft kiss on the inside of Vriska's wrist. "Then, what am I feeling, Vriska? I can't think of anything else similar to this."

The cerulean cracked an eye open with a smirk as she dropped her hand from the Heir's cheek to her chest. She could feel the goddess's heart beating, pumping her beast-red blood throughout her fragile body. Just looking at her and her delicate flesh made the troll want to bundle her moirail up and lock her away inside her absolution block.

But, they were compatible for a reason. They both valued their freedom and were undeniably loyal. Hiding Joan away would be a cruelty Vriska would never forgive herself for. Her moirail belonged in the sky, knocking aside her enemies and laughing with glee.

"The two of you are practically oozing red," Vriska stated, feeling when Joan's heart started to speed up. "I'm half tempted to just shove both of you in a closet and lock you inside."

"I would just zap us out," Joan muttered, groaning as she buried her face in her hands. "I am not in love with Dragon! Vriska, I'm not even a troll. This doesn't apply to me at all!"

Vriska scoffed. "You're an honorary blue troll, and don't you ever forget that. Hell, even Muscle Brains McCreepy-Stare would agree. So, take my advice and run with it. You're as good as a troll and you're flushed for our little Revolutionary."

"I don't _want_ a red relationship," Joan argued. "I'm perfectly happy with just you and Casey and my friends!" Vriska sighed, acknowledging that her nap was over and a feelings jam was definitely needed. She sat up, slipping off of Joan's lap to sit across from her.

"I'm not going to dictate your relationships, Joan," the troll began. She reached up, carefully pulling Joan closer until the goddess was resting against her chest, her ear pressed over the Thief's heart. "You don't have to follow through with a red crush, it's just important that you know those feelings exist. You're red for Dragon and Dragon is obviously red for you too. It's your choice if you want to peruse more from him, I'm here if anything happens. I'll _always_ be here."

"You're so sappy," Joan snickered, accepting Vriska's words but not in the mood to move yet. Vriska had no complaints, content with the warmth that her moirail naturally gave off. If she hadn't been familiar with the Lalonde-Strider family, she would have thought the heat of their blood corresponded with the humans' innate connection to moirallegiance. Or, maybe it was Joan's bloodline, as her Furry Sister, Ancestor, and the Useless Walking-Talking Booty Shorts were generally overly pale as well.

There was a knock at the door, startling the duo. They exchanged a surprised look before Joan responded. "Yes, is someone there?"

"Lady Joan, Lady Vriska," the knocker greeted politely. "Dragon has asked for your presence on the deck."

"What's with those titles?" Vriska muttered distastefully. "Of course I'm a lady, weren't the rumblespheres obvious enough?"

Joan giggled. "Thank you for informing us, we will be up soon!" With the messenger dismissed, the Heir turned to her moirail. "It's a formal title that is usually used for the nobility below the royal family. So, that would be you, Gamzee, Eridan, and Equius, basically. But, it can also be used for respect, even without actual royal blood. It is strange that they only called the two of us 'Lady' and yet left Dragon's name alone, though."

" _Nerd_ ," Vriska groaned. "I don't need you turning into my Dancestor. No more library for you."

Joan laughed, knowing that Vriska's threat was empty. Her moirail loved it when Joan found a good pirate book to read aloud while they relaxed on their pile of movies, dice, clothes, and a large spider stuffed animal the Heir made for the Thief some sweeps ago.

"Come on, let's get dressed. Dragon's waiting for us," Joan pulled away from her moirail, mentally forming her _completely inconspicuous_ godtier pajamas. Vriska groaned, flopping back against the pile.

"It's probably something _boring_ again," she huffed. "Like what color we should paint the ship or what we should have for dinner. Can't we just stay here?"

"But, Vriska, what if Dragon's finally decided what's going to go on the flag?" the goddess asked innocently. The troll was up and dressed in record time.

"About time!" she smirked, stalking over to the door with an excited gleam to her eyes. "We've already been sailing for a month, I feel embarrassed every time we run into those _lame_ marines without a proper flag."

"It's like being caught with our pants down," Joan agreed, snickering.

"Exactly!" they bantered as they traversed the ship, easily finding the hallway to the deck through the ship's maze-like structure. On the first day, Dragon had explained that it was designed to confused and trap any invading pirates. Usually, however, it only lead to new recruits disappearing into the maze for hours at a time.

"There you are, Miss Joan, Miss Vriska," Dragon greeted, grinning near the mast when the duo emerged from the depths of _The Glub_. "You'll want to see this."

"Is it another seaking?" Joan wondered, bee-lining towards the Revolutionary as Vriska trailed behind slightly.

"Even better," Dragon denied. He was holding four sheets of paper, spread so that he could look at all of them at once. Vriska eyed the browned paper, noticing a disappearing News Coo flying in the distance. It was definitely smarter than the last bird, who stuck around long enough to catch Joan's attention. It took 'Cameron' hours to escape, the poor bird.

Casey, of course, spent that hour pointing and laughing.

"You lie!" Joan exclaimed. "Nothing is better than a seaking. I kind of want to wrestle one, I haven't had the opportunity to flex my man-grit in a while."

"She's a demon," one of the revolutionaries whimpered, stuttered as Dragon's grin grew.

"Have a look for yourself," he offered, passing her the pages. Joan blinked, but accepted the sheets, staring down at them for a moment before squealing.

Vriska was at her back, checking over her shoulder in a millisecond. Joan, excited beyond words, shoved the pages into the troll's face.

She snatched the paper from her moirail's hands, finally pulling them away so she could look at them.

Revolutionary Dragon. Wanted Dead or Alive. 35,000 belli.

Lucky Vriska. Wanted Dead or Alive. 25,000 belli.

Blue Lady Joan. Wanted Dead or Alive. 25,000 belli.

Lizard Casey. Wanted Dead or Alive. 10,000 belli.

"About damn _time_ ," Vriska muttered, narrowing her eyes at the wanted papers. Since they started sailing, the crew of _The Glub_ had run into marines a handful of times each week. It was a good way to let off steam, but the two goddesses tried to let the revolutionaries have their moment to shine, only stepping in when someone was flailing. It was always the highlight of the duo's day. "Hey, Dragon-human, is 25,000 belli a good amount?"

"It's a modest size, especially for your first bounty. I'm sure you can raise it easily, however," Dragon explained.

"Let me see it again, let me see it!" Joan babbled, grabbing of the bounties. Vriska let go before her diamond could rip the pages. Joan's eyes sparkled as she looked at the terrifying pictures of her and her moirail.

Her face quickly darkened when she looked at the other two sheets.

"Miss Joan?" Dragon asked cautiously.

"I'll be back later," she stated shortly, thrusting the bounties back at Vriska before angrily marching off. "Casey," she called. "Casey, Mommy needs your help!"

"Miss Vriska, what's wrong?" Dragon demanded, taking a step towards the grey-skinned girl.

"Don't get your bulge in a twist, human," Vriska snapped, her eyes scanning for whatever could have distressed the Heir. She relaxed once she caught on, sighing in relief.

"What is it?" Dragon repeated.

"It's just Joan being protective, don't worry," Vriska waved his question off as there was a distant, familiar flash of blue light.

"What?" Dragon backed down slightly, confused.

"I would have preferred if she had taken me with her, but she might be taking this as a personal insult," the troll continued calmly. "She really doesn't like it when people mistake Casey for a lizard."

Dragon knew these girls were going to drive him insane.

"Don't tell me she went to a marine base," Dragon rubbed his eyes, exhausted.

"Probably," the troll shrugged.

And here he had always thought Joan was the _sensible_ one of the trio.

* * *

 **I can't express how much I love pale John/Joan and Vriska. There's not enough of it.**

 **(Look me in the eye and tell me my nicknames aren't gold. I dare you.)**

 **Okay, so we** _ **know**_ **John/Joan is not stupid, just a bit slow. There** _ **is**_ **a difference. And, after spending Rose-knows-how-long in the Veil, she definitely found other ways to entertain herself when everyone else was busy with their own stuff. Don't deny the power of books. Especially if Joan can relate the books to pranks or her own curiosity. (There's also the fact that Vriska's ancestor went by 'Marquis'. I think John/Joan would at least ask around about the significance of that.)**

 **I'm getting the feeling I'm smoothing over Vriska's personality a lot and it annoys me. It's her rough edges that I fell in love with in the first place. On the other hand, a moirail would probably calm Vriska a great deal. Having someone she can rely on and who would call her out of her bullshit without outright accusing her would definitely help her.**

 **Don't worry, some of the epithets change next chapter. They are** _ **so**_ **much better.**

 **I think this story is starting to get away from me, in a bit of a bad way. Imma just roll with it for now…**

 **Casey didn't really have must of a presence this chapter, but don't worry! She gets the spotlight next chapter.**

 **(Next chapter Joan and Casey go to kick some marine ass and chew bubblegum.)**

 **Guest Reviews:**

 **A – Yesssss. Soon, I will convert the world! Sadly, we didn't see much of Casey of this chapter, but she gets most of the spotlight next time. Casey needs more love, she's just such an awesome character!**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ehh, this chapter is more to move the plot along than anything else.**

 **I don't own One Piece or Homestuck.**

* * *

Growing up, Joan's father was her best friend. She didn't always get along with her peers, preferring jokes over make-up and her grades over boys. Even her tentative friendships with the neighborhood boys, who actually appreciated her humor, died off once she started growing. She wasn't good enough for the girls and too girly for the boys.

Meeting Jade, Dave, and Rose online was a saving grace. But, strange as he was, Gabriel Egbert was Joan's first supporter, behind her every step of the way. She couldn't ask for a better father, ecto-biology shenanigans be damned.

He raised her, cared for her, and she loved him for it. Though, Joan was curious as to how the Game motivated her father, if everything he did was pushed by some invisible instructions. Did he know what was going to happen? Did he know he was going to die? Did he know he was going to leave her all alone? That the one person she trusted to always be by _her side w_ o _uld end up in a pool of his own painfully bright blood, sprawled beside a strange woman, **his chest not moving, Dad, Daddy-**_

Joan shook her head, causing Casey to glub once in question. "I'm fine," she assured her wonderful daughter with a smile. The goddess stared up at the entrance to the Marine Base, planting her quivering hands firmly on her hips as she took in the scene. "Now, do we want to be all sneaky like or flashy?" she mused.

Casey glubbed, waving her Crook adamantly.

Those that dared besmirch her good name did not deserve the effort of secrecy. No, they must show those fools just how weak they truly were and then let them bemoan their mistakes. It was the will of the entangled ones.

"Hm," Joan acknowledged, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I think you're right!"

Having come to a decision, Joan stepped forward, scanning the tall gate. Canting her head in contemplation, she reached out one hand to lightly caress the exact center of the gate, where she could see a seam between the two metal doors. Looking up slightly, she saw the iconic marine seagull, proudly displayed to ward off all those that might have nefarious purposes.

Joan, with a grin promising mischief, pulled her arm back and launched her fist at the gate. She roared with victory, feeling the metal give way under her fingers. The Heir cheered when the doors broke off, flying into the base and slamming into a wall with a mighty boom.

She threw her arms up in victory as a cloud of dust spread across the area, briefly hiding her from the sight of the panicking Marines.

"What the hell was that?!"

"Are we under attack?!"

"Quick, someone find Commodore Cancer! I think the dust is settling!"

Joan, being the polite young lady she was raised to be, let the Marines run around like headless chickens for a moment. It would have been rude to attack them when they didn't know what was going on, after all. Plus, it was really funny to watch.

Of course, she also had to hold back Casey, taking the free time to teach her little girl about fighting etiquette. Or, at least, etiquette when fighting those obviously weaker. It was an important lesson for any roaming badass – defeating weaklings isn't as much fun as fighting those that can actually put up a fight.

She would admit, she learned that from comic books. But it's the manners that counted, in the end!

"It-it's just…a woman?" a gob smacked Marine announced bewildered as Joan became visible.

"Hello!" she greeted cheerfully, waving a hand. Her grin stretched across her face, apparently an unnecessary attempt to be friendly. "Who here is in charge?"

"That would be me," Joan blinked at the blond, shades-wearing man that answered as he strolled out of the base. He let out a puff of smoke around his cigar as he checked her over, raising an eyebrow at Casey's confrontational glare. "Commodore Cancer. Now, is there something you needed, little girl?"

The chaotic goddess chuckled, her eyes slipping shut. "Sorry about that! I just needed your attention. But, if the big man himself is here, I think it's time to get started, don't you think, Casey?"

The marines fidgeted as Joan grinned and her salamander-daughter glubbed rapidly in excitement. She reached out her right hand expectantly, her weapon of choice popping into existence.

"Now, I need to teach you some basic biology," Joan stated, nonchalantly swinging Zillyhoo so it rested on her shoulder. "Professor Egbert is gonna school-feed ya."

Having said her piece, she swung her colorful hammer, Casey following after with her hastily raised corpse army.

This is what the salamander lived for. The rush of battle, the screams of terror. Oh, it brought a shiver down her spine.

She smacked her Crook against the ground, feeling the bones beneath the surface dance to her tune, raising to the surface at her firm command.

This…was going to be so much _fun._

* * *

"Dragon! Oh, Dragon!" Joan called as she burst into Dragon's crowded office, cutting off their very important planning. They were nearing the kingdom of Sepel and they needed to plan for their course of action. If rumors were true, something was foul in that country.

And Dragon had every intention of digging up the truth and liberating those suffering under the kingdom's suppression.

"Ms. Joan, is everything alright?" Dragon asked, straightening up in concern. He gave the maps a longing look as his crew sighed, exasperated with the kind woman that captured their leader's attention simply by entering the room.

"Everything's fine, human," Vriska informed him, stepping in after her excited moirail. "She just can't contain herself." Casey trailed behind her, an exasperated frown decorating her yellow face. Of course, the Future Overlord of the Universe nodded in greeting when her enthusiastic students waved at her. No need to create unneeded dissonance.

"You remember my super fun adventure yesterday?" Joan cut in before Vriska could explain further, leaning in as if whispering conspiringly to the Revolutionary. He took notice of the sheets of paper she held clutched to her chest, but decided to hold off his questions until she was calmer.

Dragon refrained from sighing and nodded. "When you took Casey to terrorize a Marine base?"

"Yeah!" she chirped, bouncing on her heels, barely able to contain herself. "And guess what?" She paused in anticipation, her blue eyes glittering as they focused solely on Dragon.

"What?" Dragon humored her after a moment.

"Not only did Casey and I make front page," she crowed. "But our bounties also increased!" The chaotic goddess waved the pages enthusiastically. Dragon plucked them from her hands to get a closer look, patiently ignoring her responding whine.

"' _Marine Base Redecorated,"_ Dragon read aloud. " _Commodore Cancer Unavailable for Comment._ ' Ms. Joan, what did you do to them?"

"Most of it was Casey," she boasted. "My baby girl raised a totally awesome army of dead people to chase the marines around their base. So, I painted it a bright yellow to celebrate her first official fight!"

Joan smiled widely, displaying her two large front teeth. She basked in the stupefied silence for a moment as they absorbed the new information. She tried not to fidget too much, else Vriska would notice.

Joan wanted to finish her conversation with Dragon before her gal pal dragged her off. It's just…she could barely feel the breeze. Dragon's office was closed off, without a single window to let the fresh air the goddess needed.

And, after fully acquainting herself with her powers, Joan gained something other than relative immortality. She craved the freedom of the open space, where the breeze can envelop her completely.

As an annoying side effect, she became claustrophobic easily, preferring the open sky over an enclosed room any day.

It was harder in the Veil. No matter where she was, it felt stifling, the stillness of space suffocating her slowly. This world was spoiling her, so much so that, some night, only snuggles with her moirail got her to sleep in their room, even with the window open.

Joan considered it a miracle in and of itself that she was still with the Revolutionaries after so long. The wind was constantly whispering to her, promises of freedom and adventure that tempted her. She would shush the wind, promising that she would leave soon. She was content where she was at Dragon's side, at the moment.

But, much like her aspect, the Heir of Breath did not like to be contained.

The wind whispered again, eager as it weakly played with her hair. It wanted her to retreat back outside, where it was stronger and where there was more space to have fun.

The wind _loved_ to have fun.

"'War Hammer' Joan, 30,000 beli and 'Necromancer' Casey, 20,000 beli," Dragon stated, having flipped to the bounties while Joan was distracted by her aspect's insistence. "I'm impressed."

"Right?" Vriska drawled. "Joan is the best human. You better take me with you next time, though. Don't go _hogging_ all of the glory, Heir Head." She flicked her hair over her shoulder, cocking her hip arrogantly.

"Haha, sorry about that, Vriska," Joan chuckled awkwardly. "I was just so annoyed. Casey is _obviously_ a salamander, who flunked basic biology that they mistook my daughter for a common lizard?"

"Are you talking about education, Ms. Joan?" Dragon wondered, a deep furrow forming on his brow. The crew around them started to mutter, curious. These girls kept getting stranger and stranger with each passing day.

"What else would I be talking about?" the Heir huffed, crossing her arms.

"Very few children are taught subjects other than what they need to survive, Ms. Joan," the Revolutionary informed her. "Most are tutored by their parents, who have limited knowledge themselves. Only marines and nobles are able to receive a formal education."

Joan froze. Sure, she didn't really like school growing up, but she understood the importance of the institute. Reading, writing, science, basic math: the information learned in school would stick with a student for years. It made for interesting conversations with Jade and most of the Alphas, who grew up without proper schooling. Though, they definitely kicked her butt in the science and math fields either way. She found it to be a bit unfair.

"That's…not right," Joan muttered, bewildered.

Dragon's brow eased as he took in her honest confusion. "Perhaps you can teach those onboard so they don't make the same mistake," he suggested. "We don't want you to fly into a rage again, now do we?"

The Heir nodded absentmindedly, her mind already racing. She tried to remember school, an experience that seemed millennia ago. For all she knew, though, it truly had been millennia since she walked through the halls of Maple Valley Jr. High School. So much has happened since those lonely days.

It was bizarre to think of thousands of people not receiving the proper education. How many people were being ripped off by the more fortunate because they were unable to read or couldn't properly count their money? It was strange enough to hear about Alternia and how isolated the adolescent trolls were. This was something completely different, but equally disturbing.

"Joan," Vriska warned. "I don't think this would be the best idea." The Heir hesitated. Her moirail was usually all for showing off and rubbing her superiority in the face of those she deemed lower than her. Her reluctance was a blaring sign that the Heir was being too obvious in her own aversion to the idea.

"Is there something wrong, Ms. Joan, Ms. Vriska?" Dragon asked, even as he heard his crewmates shift uncomfortably. The four rescuers needed to show a unified force, to keep their crewmates calm and confident.

"No," Joan responded when the cerulean didn't answer. "No, there's nothing wrong Dragon. If anyone needs us, we'll by the mast."

Joan was in a daze as she dragged her annoyed moirail out of the room, freeing the breeze gleefully run through her hair as she crossed the threshold. She didn't stop, pretending not to see Dragon's furrowed brow or hear his concern as he called her name.

She needed to think this through for a moment.

* * *

 **Joan, this was supposed to be Casey's chapter to shine. Why must you steal the spotlight? I thought that was Vriska's job.**

 **Fun Fact – Gabriel is now my fanon name for Dadbert. The short for Gabriel, Gabe, follows the four-letter 'rule' for the humans. Also, Gabriel means God is my strength. It makes me sad to replace 'God/god' with John. John is my strength. Dadbert, don't go hurting my heart, dammit.**

 **You cannot tell me the One Piece world has former education, I absolutely refuse. Mentors, tutors, master/apprentices; that I will believe.**

 **I'm hesitant to add Joan's dead-dad trauma in this chapter, but it will definitely have an effect on her future decisions, so I figured now was as good a time as any to formally introduce it. Here. Joan was traumatized by her dad's death and she sometimes has flashes that generally start up when she's feeling stressed/uncomfortable/doubtful. The Veil was horrible on her psyche and she never wants to leave the One Piece world cause the HorrorTerrors can't taint her dreams with memories of her father's corpse there. I don't even want to think about the other humans who don't have the respite of world travel or the Troll's sopor-slime-sleeping-agent. I'm done hurting my heart for today.**

 **Guest Reviews:**

 **Guest - Much like Luffy, Joan will only ever make sense to a select few and, even then, not always. Sadly, Joan stole the scene from Casey, though our favorite salamander still gets a lot done. I'm glad! I do worry that I'm soothing personalities out too much or falling back on typical stereotypes without noticing. It's so ingrained in media that sometimes I don't notice I've stereotyped until afterwards. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! Haha, I hope I don't mess up later on.**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. The next one shouldn't take so long to get out, especially since it's already half-way done.**


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